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Generally speaking, the objective of relationship advice is to minimize friction between romantic partners. In other words, is it ever wise to welcome a little frustration in your relationship? But eventually, the real you is bound to come out… and start exasperating your partner.

Your partner always being late to girlfriend is getting on my nerves may have no deeper meaning, it may just be annoying. Your partner forgetting to get the car washed may have no profound significance, it may just be annoying. These areas of friction may be nothing more than differences rubbing up against each other, but they may also highlight areas of the relationship where improvement could be beneficial.

Gettimg other words, annoyance is often a finger pointing at aspects of the relationship that could be better—providing opportunities for growth. How do you know what could be improved in your relationship?

Maybe your partner being late to dinner points toward a deeper gettinf She always stretches herself too. Or maybe your partner forgetting to wash the car is evidence of his irresponsibility—a legitimate concern in any relationship.

Contact us at editors time. Getty Images.

By Kira Asatryan February 18, Kira Asatryan is a relationship coach and author of Girlfriedn Being Lonely. TIME Ideas hosts the world's leading voices, providing commentary on events in news, society, and culture.

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Opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect the views of TIME editors.